On a scale of 1-10, 1 being smooth and flowery and 10 being honest and upfront, we need to talk at an 11. Like, tell you your dog is ugly kind of an 11.  

First, let me say this: I can write this blog because I talk to 570+ business owners every year. Plus, the 200+ I train. Plus, the 20+ that I directly coach.  

Secondly, change the way you look at things and the things you look at change. (This is one of my favorite sayings. I am living in it this year.)

Now that we have those two assumptions: break the cycle. 

And here is the cycle. I have chosen “A.” I expected that:

 A+my own abilities+Consistency= the success I desire to design my life. Here is the truth. “A” is not getting you there. “My own abilities” are not being directed, trained, and groomed. And “Consistency” has NO accountability. Breaking the cycle means saying goodbye to the over-promised sales pitches and partner with those who will serve your growth.  


“A” was a promise or a sales pitch. The challenge now is that the pitch has returned void. No blame here, but the truth is “A” will not get you what you desire. “A” is a massive hole for you now. (See what I did there…”A” hole…for those who needed explanation.) We shall return to “A” in a moment. 

“My Own Abilities”

But here is what happened next. “My own abilities” grew. Maybe not at the rate desired, but growth was undoubtedly there. Which means there seems to be a correlation with choosing “A.” (Wrong.) It was you. Your energy and excitement and natural skills have more to do with your success early. Enter consistency. 


What was actually happening was consistency. Time on the task you chose over time develops habits that can become skills, which is true everywhere. You can tell me you suck at anything, and we can put you on the task at the said thing over time, and you will develop a skill you never imagined you could have. (Enjoy that run-on sentence.) The proximity to our choices will create a consistency that will help us take the next step. That is pure fact. Then we hit the wall. The WTF wall of skills, or lack-there-of. 


We come back around to “A” and look for “A” to solidify their promise. You should have broken the cycle here. “A,” says: do these tasks, tasks that everyone does, and you will be successful. You may not have noticed. But “A” just bypassed the essential part of the equation. “My own abilities” were left by the wayside as we trusted “A” to get me to next. 

“My Own Abilities”

But “my own abilities” is sitting there going: I thought I might be able to be part of this whole thing. We are pretty damn good over here. You start on your tasks. (And if you haven’t noticed, I am painting a photo that business is more than a task. It’s about strength, relationships, and a personalized growth/business plan.) You hate a few of the tasks because you don’t have a skill set for the job, OR you just hate that particular task. “My own abilities” swoops in to rescue you from this horse hockey (pg way of saying bullshit): what if we did it this way…And you trust your strengths. You trust you. (Small challenge is that we tend to start making up unique practices and not best practices.) And you begin to see some growth.  


And consistency takes those unique practices to the next level as “my own abilities” fill in the void that “A” should have been coaching me to fill. “A” just doesn’t know how. Their lack of experience washes out with the tide. Unique practices mixed with consistency bottlenecks. Unquie ways will require new unique ways to make those unique ways to work with these unique ways to take care of those unique ways. The bottleneck wears us out. 


We go back to “A” for help. “I need to turn my unique practices to best practices.” And “A” probably tells us what to do again through a task list or better yet tells us to pay for coaching. All the while, “A” never asking a single question to dig into ME.  

I am going to stop there. We all know the cycle continues over and over. Poor leadership continues to return void over and over, and we convince ourselves that it’s okay. We allow leadership to produce excuses. And we make excuses for them. Bullshit. Leadership is a choice. And it’s hard. Leadership requires servanthood. Leadership requires continual growth and training. THE LEADERSHIP SERVING YOU IS THE CEILING TO YOUR BUSINESS.


The worst thing the cycle produces is the mindset of “the devil I know is better than the devil I don’t.” By the time we have gotten through just this little written soliloquy of the cycle, we have allowed time to seep into the equation. Time is a powerful factor in all of this. We don’t break the cycle because we have already invested too much time. And time also produces strong relationships with coworkers and leadership. We choose to stay because we fear the breakup. Time deceives us. We look back on time and only remember the good. We look forward through time and believe that change will happen. Change doesn’t happen. Change is a choice–an action. Not a default. So we choose to stay in a space that won’t get us what we want, always dreaming of change, yet never taking the steps towards it.

And then one day you meet me. Yes, I am going to be slightly conceited here. And I, instead of telling you anything to do, ask you about you. What are your strengths? How do you apply those to your lead gen? Is there anything standing in the way that could make that better? Have you searched for a solution there? What did you find? If you were able to do that, what would that do for your business? What do you need right now to fill that gap? WHats the next best step to take? How can I help you get there? Would it make sense for you to take a class on the subject? If I brought that class, would you attend? What else? Have you considered __________? Do you know about __________? Who is helping you_________? What drives you to build a big business? As well as just pure digging into your needs. 

(And then there is the experience factor. I work daily, never to be the ceiling for those under my leadership. I am genuinely building myself to be the absolute best I could ever be. I started real estate in April of 2015. During my first 2.5 years, I was in production and closed over 130 transactions. In 2017 I took over as leader of an office of 135 agents. We are now 239 agents and closed 73 million shy of $1 BILLION in volume our of our office.)

So when I come knocking, let’s at least talk. And just so we are following my analogy. It really is not about me. (Anyone could be knocking, not just me.) It’s about you breaking the cycle and choosing your own life by design and partnering with those who can get you there, which means breaking up with your current leaders. 

Get rid of your A hole, and get a better A.

A + my own abilities + consistency = the success I desire to design my life

Only if “A” can serve the life you desire.